Now, at Retropolis: the question, if not the answer, that occupies all our thoughts: Where is My Jet Pack?

Because this is an area where the Future That Never Was has completely outclassed The Present That Really Happened. You can keep your iPhone; you’re perfectly welcome to keep your GPS and your full body scanners; you may enjoy your traffic cameras and your edible deodorants. I don’t know; somebody must be enjoying those, it’s just that I have no idea who they are.

You’re welcome to all of them. All I want, and all that any right-thinking person should want, is a jet pack. If you need to ask why then I feel truly sorry for you, but at least I guess I’ve narrowed down the answer to that that edible deodorant question.

Now I think we’ve been quite patient. Sure, if we got overexcited by the old Gernsback magazines then it’s possible that we cancelled our vacations in the Antibes and sat by the door, waiting for our jet packs to be delivered. That, I admit, was overly optimistic. But honestly! It’s been decades since then. Actual decades. And I don’t think that any of us is getting any younger.

So our jet packs have to be arriving soon. They just have to. And to make the wait more bearable, try these T-shirts and coffee mugs from Retropolis that make no bones about the fact that we want our jet packs now, thank you very much.