Speed of Light T-shirts: now in both metric and imperial units

Filed under Works in Progress

In what may (or may not) be my final T-shirt redesign for the Retropolis Transit Authority, we can now have our speed of light in two flavors: imperial and metric. Because a constant is a constant, regardless of your preferred unit of measure. Otherwise we’d call it something else, right?

I’ve worked out and tested my redirect system for the old Retropolis Transit links. The search engines may not quite catch on, but in the long run that won’t matter much since visitors to the old version will get whisked, as though by subatomic weirdness, to their new corresponding pages – except in the case of a retired design, when they’ll get whisked to the first page of shirts instead.

The whisking. I’m telling you, it’s the key to everything.

The reason I’m not sure whether this is the last redesign is that I just haven’t decided whether a couple of the old shirts will get a new version. We’ll have to see. And of course there can always be new T-shirts now that the big switch is complete.

For now, let’s simply be happy in the knowledge that we can have our speed of light and drink from it, too.

Because you don’t need to be male to meddle in things that Man was not meant to wot of

Filed under Works in Progress

Okay, this new t-shirt/poster/etc. was not so much planned as it was inevitable.

STEM programs celebrate Mad Science in all its varieties; after all, there’s no glass ceiling in SCIENTIFIC & TECHNOLOGICAL EVIL MACHINATIONS.

You can cackle in any octave you like, and cackle till the cows come home… or until the cows swoop down over the helpless settlements of your enemies, death rays blazing, with hooves like blades of the sharpest steel. For SCIENCE!

It was only recently that Mad Scientists of a female disposition were paid a mere 70% of what male Mad Scientists took home. But through personal resolve, intense and unflinching bravery, and (finally) the sudden application of electricity, we’ve set that right. The lady scientists of Retropolis can now inspire at least 100% of the fear their male counterparts do.

All is now as it should be.

As usual, this triumph of gender equality can be seen on t-shirts, coffee mugs, posters, mousepads, and archival prints.

Back off: I’m Doing Science! returns to the Retropolis Transit Authority

Filed under Works in Progress

What does it take to get those hysterical lab assistants to give you a little elbow room? With all their flustered objections when you’re just about to inject the Essence Of Life into your new Invisible Squidlike Sentient Lifeform?

So what if it regenerates and (if Igor’s correct) may have telepathy and a lethal proboscis? Those babies.

You’d think that a polite cough, or the occasional kick, would make them back away and let you get down to it. But nooooo.

Now, you’ll still need their assistance tomorrow – that is, if Igor’s not correct – so my advice is, keep this in view at all times.

Point at it. Back Off: I’m Doing Science!

As you’ve surely guessed by now, this is the latest of my new, improved and modern! revisions to older T-Shirt designs at the Retropolis Transit Authority. I’ve got just 1.5 new designs to go – plus four troublesome bits of editing on some others – and then I guess I’ll have redone what most needed to be redone, at which point I’ll lean back and say “My job here is redone!” because, by then, my brain will be tired and it won’t be paying any attention to grammar any more.

Go Hero’s Wilma Deering figure celebrates the swellest dame of the Future That Never Was

Filed under Found on the Web

I’ve said before that one of the seminal influences on my Retropolis art is the earliest of the Buck Rogers comics, from 1929 on. This makes Wilma Deering the mitochondrial ancestor of all the swell dames in my retro future. (Also of everyone else; but do we have to get technical here?)

Wilma knew all the ropes of the twenty-fifth century by the time Buck woke up there: her inertron jumping belt helped her leap in great, dreamlike bounds because its antigravity made her nearly weightless; she had her own personal rocket ship; and, of course, she had her stylish (but lethal) atomic pistol.

Wilma Deering swung, only because at that time no one would have said “Wilma Deering rocks”.

Go Hero has been turning out some terrific high end action figures based on familiar characters like The Shadow, Dan Dare, and Buck Rogers. I’ve mentioned those here before.

The Go Hero limited edition Wilma Deering is now available for pre-order. She’s a highly detailed figure with a visored cap, bubble helmet, four pairs of hands, and accessories like the jumping belt and ray gun. She’s scheduled to ship in the third quarter of this year and she’s certain to look fantastic while she defends your desk from the unspeakable perils of outer space.

Two new faces of Rocket Science for the Retropolis Transit Authority

Filed under Works in Progress

Yep, it’s still all about the T-shirts here in the Secret Laboratory – except when it’s about the coffee mugs, mousepads, and posters – and what does that mean? It means that I’ve just finished up two more new, improved shirt designs for the Retropolis Transit Authority.

There are about seven more “critical” designs to go before I’m done. Today’s offerings are Yes! In Fact, This IS Rocket Science and No! This is NOT Rocket Science. I haven’t ruled out a Maybe! shirt. But for the moment, anyway, this is where we stand.

So if your current problem falls on one side or the other of the Rocket Science Question take a gander at these as t-shirts, coffee mugs, mousepads, posters, or archival prints over at Retropolis.
 

Ask Me About My Death Ray!

Filed under Works in Progress

With dual ultra-thanatopic oscillators, an impressive range, and their patented Now You See ‘Em, Now You Don’t self-guiding disintegration actualizers, these handy household Death Rays have just about everything the average householder could want – while for those special extras, they’re easily customized!

And because you care about the effect they’ll have on your neighborhood (boy, do you care!) they’re available in seven stylish colors.

Trust me: you do not want to be the last one on your block to have one of these.

It’s a fun and easy way to get rid of those annoying pet stains… even at their source!

Safety note: Death Rays are not guaranteed to be safe when used as directed. That’s sort of the whole point.

Yes, it’s another new version of one of my older T-Shirt designs for The Retropolis Transit Authority: now available on shirts, mugs, posters and archival prints. And if they do ask? I’d say “I got the red one!”