World’s Greatest Megalomaniac T-Shirts at the new Retropolis Transit Authority

Filed under Works in Progress

If you’re going to be the Worlds Greatest Anything… my advice? Shoot for the stars. Go for WORLDS GREATEST MEGALOMANIAC.

I told you this week about my all-new incarnation of the Retropolis Transit Authority. But I didn’t tell you everything. When I remade the Transit Authority shirts for their new vendor, I left fourteen of them out. They were old designs, or designs I thought should be better, and the plan is that over time I’ll either do them over or retire them permanently.

This is the first of those new versions.

Now, The WORLDS GREATEST MEGALOMANIAC is unique in the store. While I was writing The Lair of the Clockwork Book I invented a coffee mug with that slogan on it. And once I’d invented it, I could see that it needed to exist: so I made one, and I made shirts to match. Today we have a new, improved Megalomaniac – and, come to think of it, NEW, IMPROVED MEGALOMANIAC! has potential, too. Let me get back to you on that one.

All new version of The Retropolis Transit Authority features a custom storefront & lower prices

Filed under Web Development, Works in Progress

We’re all about experimentation, here in the Secret Laboratory, and as always you’re invited into the Vivisectorium for a personal tour.

This week’s experiment is an all new incarnation of The Retropolis Transit Authority with T-Shirts now printed by Spreadshirt. I gave this a go once I’d rebuilt the Pulp-O-Mizer’s T-Shirt system; building a new storefront was actually less work even though (for the first time) I wrote the complete store management system myself. Don’t get me started on pagination!

We should consider this a shakedown cruise. But, happily, the shirts are now less expensive. And that’s always nice, even during a shakedown.

Once again, you can get T-Shirts from the Pulp-O-Mizer

Filed under Web Development, Works in Progress

After two solid weeks of hair-raising adventure, the Pulp-O-Mizer is once again cranking out T-Shirts till the cows come home, or at least until you uncover a bug that eluded me. The Tale of Those Two Weeks may never be told: it’s strong stuff, and it features a lot of language that you’d pretend not to know; it came close to breaking my spirit. But it seems to be done.

Pulp-O-Mized T-Shirts are now printed and shipped by Spreadshirt. I ran off a test shirt to check their quality, and Spreadshirt does a nice job with them. In addition, the new shirts cost less, which you care about, and I make slightly more from them, which, you know, I care about, and all of this happens with web-like speed and, incidentally, in run-on sentences that will almost certainly make you the T-Shirt wearing envy of all your friends and neighbors.

I know what you’re thinking, but these really were a tough couple of weeks. If I’m getting out of this with nothing worse than run-on-sentences I’m going to call it a win.

So take my advice: go forth and Pulp-O-Mize yourself a handsome garment that will at once conceal your torso and call attention to it. That’s a one-two punch that surpasses anything since the Uncertainty Principle and That Thing That Happened Right After the Uncertainty Principle. (Added bonus: these T-Shirts can be measured!)

As always, problems can be reported here. Please don’t find any.

The first 1024 words for The Untitled Sequel to Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom

Filed under Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom, Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual, Works in Progress

Here’s a rare photograph from the lower level of the Secret Laboratory, showing most of the first 1024 words for The Untitled Sequel to Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom.

My favorites? “Giraffe”, “Unmentionable”, and “Lotion”.

Save 60% on poster orders from Retropolis and The Celtic Art Works, through this Friday

Filed under Works in Progress

It must be that time again. That’s the only explanation I can see, anyway.

That’s right: through December 5 – that’s this Friday – you can save outrageous sums of money by spending outrageous sums of money at Retropolis and The Celtic Art Works.

Okay, you don’t actually have to spend outrageous sums of money: I’d just kind of like it if you did.

During your checkout, simply apply the discount code ZAZCYBERWEEK to save 60% on posters, 50% on greeting cards, or 20% on coffee mugs.

Yep, that’s a whopping 60% off on posters like “Nat Draws Down” (above) or “Ctheltic Cthulhu” (right). Oh, it’ll hurt me to lose that 60%; but do you care? Really?

Yeah. Just like I thought. It’s something about your eyes.

Extra Innings for Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom

Filed under Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom, Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual, Works in Progress

A couple of days ago I finished the last of my planned revisions to the illustrations for Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom. That last one was an all new replacement for my Chapter 17 illustration; I never felt quite right about the old one, and the new one’s much nicer.

And I thought that would be the end. But in spite of myself I keep on tinkering with the Chapter 1 illustration: I’m not sure whether I’m revising it or replacing it. So far I’m banking on "revising", but I may be wrong. That happens all the time.

It’s all tantalizingly close, anyway: twenty-one illustrations for the chapters, a title page, and two pseudoendpapers. It’s a big set by most standards, though a small one by the standards I set over at Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual. In that case… I plead insanity, if you’re asking.

In related news, very neat but gradual things are happening and – once they’ve stopped happening – I look forward to letting you know what’s up.

Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom: something’s up

Filed under Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom, Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual, Works in Progress

Yes! has just told me that will , and – as you know – that means ! I couldn’t be more excited. I mean, .
 

PS: Those censors at are far more powerful than I realized.

A third untextured rocket model, and the provenance of rocket names

Filed under Works in Progress

With this third untextured, unfinished model of a retro rocket I’ve probably blown off all the steam I should. Tomorrow morning I’ll set these aside and get started on my revisions to the illustrations for Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom.

Someday I’ll want to use these rockets, and then I’ll go back to work on their textures, their other materials, and the final details on the dashboards. And I’ll come up with names for the three of them, too. Lately I’ve been leaning toward inappropriate names from mythology (like "Actaeon"), as though a rocket designer with very little knowledge of mythology paged through his Bullfinch at the last moment and picked a name. "Let’s call it the Icarus!", for example, although that one’s a little too obvious.

By the time I name these, though, I might have shifted over to something else. Like famous streamlined vacuum cleaners, or unsung character actors from Warner Brothers in the 1930’s. I’m unpredictable that way. And probably a little odd.

Another untextured rocket, and that high pitched whine that could mean anything

Filed under Computer Graphics, Works in Progress

I’m still being irresponsible and devil-may-care, which – since we’re talking about me – means that I’m still sitting in a dimly lit room while I build retro rocket models. This one, as untextured as the last, is more of the same.

Each of these September models is a variation on an iconic shape that I’ve played with before; but that was several years ago, with lower resolution on all fronts. These stand up much better in close-ups. Even their temporary textures are laid out at a higher resolution and so have a higher pixel density in the end product. I call that progress of the software-straining, RAM-chewing variety.

I’m expecting some news at the end of the week which, whether it will be good news or bad, seems to be distracting me. You know that thing that happens when you hear a high-pitched whine dopplering in from overhead, and you’re not sure whether it’s a drone delivery of some Really Cool New Thing, or a nuclear missile? It’s like that. Therefore, rockets.